Nov 2 2015

Halloween Candy Bar Blondies

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***WARNING***

Your skinny jeans are going to hate you. Your yoga pants will laugh in your face the moment you go to reach for them. Stretchy pants will be your best friend and no pants well, that will be the best thing ever. However there are things in life that make stretchy pants worth it… like these leftover Halloween candy bar blondies. Dear God they are so worth it! So okay as you know I do live a healthy lifestyle. I firmly believe in eating healthy, working out and doing everything in moderation. However the day I made these, well yeah… let’s just say moderation did not exist in my vocabulary. Am I sorry? HELL NO! LOL

I mean seriously, look at these bars. LOOK AT THEM! All that chocolate and gooey caramel on top, those chunks of candy bars and that tender chewy blondie. This…THIS made everything single thing right in the world. THIS is what we need to gain world peace. Just give everyone these and no more problems…well at least for the 3.5 seconds it takes them to inhale them. Oh no trust me, you’ll do your very best to eat them slowly. You take that first nibble and taste it. You’ll take one more bite, bigger and as soon as all those flavors hit your tongue you’ll shove the entire thing into your mouth. Okay fine, maybe just *I* did that but dear God… speechless

As you all know I love Halloween; like I LOVE HALLOWEEN! I love the costumes (no clowns…ever), the parties, the foods, the festivities and trick or treating. However sadly for the past 9 years we’ve not had any trick or treaters yet every year I still buy candy…hoping. All I know is if we ever do get a single kid to trick or treat, they will hit the mother load at my house with candy. So just like clockwork I bought candy hoping maybe this year would be the year. As I had the candy sitting in the bowl, Mr. Fantabulous kinda gripped about my buying it cause that means he’s “forced to eat it.” Wait, what? Forced? I don’t ever recall having hulk strength to force his hands into the candy, unwrap the 47 pieces and force them in his mouth. Man I must have Jedi-mind trick powers after all! LOL

So this year I decided to develop a recipe that you all could use with the piles of leftover Halloween candy you and your kids have. Okay fine I know I’m assuming a lot here – assuming you actually have leftover candy. If you don’t, head out to the store today as all the Halloween candy will be discounted to make way for Christmas and Valentine’ day.

Since I knew I would be adding all chocolate bars to it recipe I didn’t want to go for a cookie or brownie base. I wanted something chewy, sweet but not too sweet. These blondies I’ve been making for a good 15+ years. I came up with it for a girlfriend that was allergic to chocolate but wanted a bar that was similar to a brownie texture. For hers instead of putting in chocolate chips I went with toasted macadamia nuts and raspberry bits. SCORE. But I digress.

This recipe is ridiculously easy to make as you don’t need any special equipment – no mixers or beaters even. Just 2 bowls, a whisk and mixing spoon. Well okay fine, you do need a baking pan. One thing I will mention about the pan is I actually prefer making these in the aluminum pans versus a glass pan. I never liked the texture of them when baked in glass however feel free to use what you have on hand. Now when I make brownies or blondies in an aluminum pan I always line it with foil and dependent on the butter/fat content I tend to lightly spray the bottom, never the sides. It’s what Mom always did and her stuff was amazing.

Into the kitchen I went to whip this up. I think, honestly, the hardest part out of all of this was unwrapping every single piece of candy. Sure it’s easier if you have the king size bars but all I had on hand were the fun size and miniatures. This way by buying those I have a variety. With the candy you can seriously go with whatever you have on hand. Now I haven’t made these with just all chocolate bars; I’ve only ever used bars like Snickers, Milky way, Kit Kat and so forth. I’m not sure if the solid chocolate bars would hold up or if they would melt.

These blondies, as I said, are really simple to mix together. What you will notice is the batter is thick so you can’t really pour it in or spread it out with a spatula. All I do is dump it in, wet my fingers and then gently spread out the mixture in the pan. That to me is the easiest way. Plus if anything sticks to your fingers, it’s yours to lick off…after you put the pan in the oven. As these bars baked I cleaned up my 987 candy wrappers and tossed them into the garbage. As I was finishing cleaning up Mr. Fantabulous came into the house, washed his hands and as he went to throw his paper towel in the trash he spied all the empty wrappers.

All I heard from behind me was “OMG are you kidding me? Honey! HONEY! Please tell me you did NOT eat all that candy just now?! OMG noooooooooooo! Wait… you ate the 100 Grands too??? Those are my favorites!” Now me being me, spied the bowl of melted chocolate next to the sink. I immediately dipped my finger in it, dabbed it on my chin, corners of my mouth and lip then turned around saying “OMG no I would never!”.

There I stood before him, batting my baby blues with melted chocolate on my face trying my best not to crack a smile but rather stand there so innocent. He then said “Are you kidding me? You have chocolate all over your face! Are you going through some mid-life thing that you ate all that chocolate???”

Wait… did he just call me old? Mid-life??? WTH dude! I then just smiled, told him to bend over (as I pointed to the oven) and to bite me. That’s when he spied the pan in the oven. Now the man had no idea what I was making however he immediately assumed it was for him. His eyes got as big as silver dollars and then said “Is it done yet?”

… yes honey it’s done. Just grab the pan out of the oven and eat it raw. Swear to God I have a 4 year old for a husband. Sighing deeply I told him it wasn’t done, that it was for the website and that no I did not eat all the ^%$#@ candy. Immediately he said “Oh yeah? How come you have chocolate all over your face then? HUH?” I just rolled my eyes, moved to the side and showed him the bowl of melted chocolate. Immediately he asks “Can I have some?”

Seriously? No.. go away. LOL

Thankfully this wonderful conversation was interrupted by a phone call. Oh Mama Fantabulous how I love you as those two chatted for quite a while leaving me to tend to finishing this up. All cooled and cut, ready for tasting he then comes out to the kitchen all lovey dovey. Oh yeah, I know where this was going. He didn’t want some lovin’ like a normal husband. Oh no, he wanted what was in the pan. Forget his wife, food comes first.

Now what’s funny is when you’re a taste tester for me I feel the need to explain to you what you’re eating first before you eat it. Well with Mr. Fantabulous I need to speed talk if I wish to do that. Sure I’ve tried not giving him the food first however if I speak for more than 15 seconds when he knows there is food involved, his eyes glaze over and he kind of blocks me out. All he hears is “I have food for you but you can’t have it until I hold it ransom for the longest time ever”. So this time I just let him dive right in and eat.

One bite… nothing

Two bites…nothing *I give the look*

Three bites…still nothing *I sigh deeply*

He then reaches for another and simply says “not bad…” Wait, what? “NOT BAD????” I don’t make “not bad” food! So as I reach to grab one he actually smacked my hand away and said “Get! These are mine!” LOL

‘Not bad’ my behind! The man was loving these and didn’t want to share. I then poked him in the side using my other hand to grab a bar. As I went to take a bite the man then bear hugged me trying to keep the bar from my mouth. Like I said, I married a 4 year old! haha As I finally wiggled myself free I was able to stuff the bar in my mouth…the entire bar at once. Yes, it was not one of my most ladylike moments however desperate times calls for desperate measures. LOL

As I bit down the flavors just exploded in my mouth. The brown sugar chewy blondies were just the perfect amount of sweetness, all those chunks of candy bars leaving each bite with a different texture and flavor. One bite had bits of snickers, another had the 100 grand and those twix bites!!! The contrast of chewy to the crunch of the cookie bar in the twix. AWESOME! And then to have that chocolate and caramel drizzle on top. My God… these were…

PERFECT!

Now you all know I’m not a huge candy or sweets eater however this, THIS, I want this in heaven… every day. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY!

After we were done horsing in the kitchen I asked him in all seriousness if it was just ‘not bad’ or what I should change on it to make them ‘awesome’. He smiled, patted my head, kissed me on the forehead and told me that they were perfect. That he was just messing around with me. So going to beat that man!

Now keep in mind, even though I say to use leftover Halloween candy, there is no law (and even if there was I know I’d be breaking it over and over) that you can only make this after Halloween. Use Christmas candy, Valentine’s Day candy or um.. because it’s Tuesday candy!