Aug 20 2014

Ultimate Lobster Rolls

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Did you ever get one of those cravings where if you seriously don’t eat that one particular thing that you need in your belly that nothing, NOTHING satisfies you? Now I’m not pregnant so don’t even go there. We all get cravings for things that we may not normally eat or better yet, eat that often. Sure most women crave chocolate at least once a month (some once an hour but hey, I’m not judging!), men may crave bacon (though that’s always me) or you may just want something odd. Like I have a friend that hates ice cream BUT craves it after they um have um ‘relations’. Like I said, I don’t judge.

Well for me I was craving lobster rolls in a big, BIG way and I totally blame my one girlfriend Autumn for this. Yes you Autumn, I blame you *wink*. See this one day at work I had some free time over lunch, I’d already did both workouts for the day and needed to run out to the store on my lunch break so I sent her a message to see if she wanted to go with me. Well her hubby asked her to go to lunch at this seafood place to which she graciously invited me to tag along. I would have gone BUT I had to go to the store and going after work was not an option. So later on in the day she and I were messaging and like normal we got to discussing food. Well she went on and on about his lobster roll and how fabulous it was. Hearing that was all I needed. The seed was planted and I NEEDED a lobster roll ASAP!

I mean you don’t understand people. I dreamt of that damn lobster roll she spoke about!

I mean I had it BAD with a capital B! I think I literally drove Mr. Fantabulous nuts over this as I was obsessing over it. For weeks I would stop at the store and either they didn’t have lobster tails or even langostinos (which yes I know are not true lobsters but more closely related to hermit crab or a true crab but they have a similar taste to lobster than to crab) or they were ridiculously priced! Yes I know I was craving them but I’m not made of money. So until Oprah or Brad & Angelina adopt me, this girl needs to be frugal! About 3 weeks went by and that craving was getting worse and worse. They taunted me in my dreams. One dream was I was out to dinner and ordered one. Everyone at the table decided to get one and somehow I was the last person to get served however when it came time to give me my plate the waiter told me they were out of them and asked if I wanted something else. I had looked at the plates of my friends who ate Mr. Fantabulous-style and pretty much inhaled them whole! Devastated and pretty much broken hearted I got nothing. When my alarm went off I literally was sad over my dream. Needless to say my morning workout was not about how my form looked on squats but on that damn lobster roll. I was literally mad at the restaurant (which I don’t even think actually exists in real life) for screwing with me like that! LOL

Well like clockwork Friday after work I stopped at Costco to get 6 dozen of eggs (cause I go through that many a week) and there they were! GORGEOUS frozen lobster tails with pretty much a neon sign above them flashing “TAKE US HOME LORI!!!! WE LOVE YOU!!!” So I snagged up 2 huge lobster tails for $12 (I think they were marked wrong but SHHHHH!!!), a bag of frozen langostinos (which I LOVE) and some fresh shrimp. Seriously it was a seafood frenzy in my buggy.

Er wait.. Pittsburghese lesson here. “Buggy” in Pittsburghese means “Shopping Cart” to the rest of the world. We have our own language here as well as a horrific Yinzer accent. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE my city and the ‘burgh but man our accent is horrific.

But yeah you don’t care about that, you care about these luscious lobster rolls. Now there’s a 2-phased debate on what is deemed a true lobster roll.

1 – Hot/Warm Lobster roll, or
2 – Cold Lobster roll

Now for me I hate a cold lobster roll. I want my filling warmed but that’s my preference.

The next part of this debate goes into how it’s made – mayo in the sauce or just butter/herbs. Well this is where I differ. You all know my hatred of mayo. It’s not so much I hate it as it’s never done anything bad to me but rather it gags me. Plus I don’t care for the taste. Well it was something Autumn had said to me about that one specific lobster roll. She said it tasted like they had maybe crème fraiche in it instead of mayo. OMG! BRILLIANCE!

Are you familiar with what crème fraiche is? Crème fraiche (pronounced ‘krem fresh’) is a cream that is naturally soured. It is thick and soft (like cream cheese) with this wonderful smooth and velvety texture. It’s rich and tangy with such an amazing flavor. The downside of it, it’s not exactly cheap and sometimes hard to find. It’s super simple to make your own but you need to plan ahead. I’ll go into that in a later post. But if you can’t find it in your store you can use sour cream or plain greek yogurt.

I actually lucked out at my store buying some AND they were on sale – $4.49 for a 6 ounce container. I bought 2. However keep an eye on the expiration date as it does not have a long shelf life. So when I brought home my bounty from the store I got “the look” and was asked “um.. is there a reason why you just pillaged an entire ocean full of seafood??” I just giggled and said 2 words..

LOBSTER ROLL!

He just shook his head and mumbled something about me being obsessed. Okay seriously HAD I known these lobster rolls were going to turn out as amazing as they were, I would have bought a damn boat, went to Maine and fished for my own… um, that is if I knew how to fish for lobsters or how to drive a boat or had the courage to touch the creature that they use to catch lobsters. Cause I’m telling you right now folks, if it involves a worm, night crawler, squid or anything other than velveeta cheese I’m not touching it. I turn TOTAL girl! I will freak the hell out over a worm. Like seriously just typing that made me shudder. I’m that girl that loves to go fishing, will gut a fish but dear God you make me go near a worm and I will throw my fishing rod into the water. I have no qualms about it and will not apologize!

I can remember once when I was younger we all went fishing. Well my Dad was bound and determined to get me to touch a worm so he instructed everyone to not help me bait my hook. My being stubborn I sat there in the sun holding a rod that never went into the water because I refused to touch a worm. Finally I think the young engineer in me kicked in as I found a pair of plastic gloves, a plastic fork and 2 rocks. I put on the gloves to touch the plastic fork (in case the worm jumped up and touched my bare skin.. shut it! Worms can jump!). one rock went on each end of the worm (cause I know clue which end was it’s butt and which was it’s head – best to have all ends covered!). HA.. no pun intended! Next I took the plastic fork and swirled the worm up like spaghetti and then took the hook and baited it that way. Perfect bait every single time. Pretty friggen smart if I say so myself.

Low and behold I was catching fish after fish only THEN I had to get them off of the hook. Yeah, WE have a problem here. Apparently you cannot shake the fish off of the hook. Plus it’s inhumane. So me, being me just kept going up to strangers asking for help. As I’d return back with another fish on the line my Dad would just sit there and shake his head at my creativity.

This recipe is pretty simple and only needs a few ingredients. You don’t want the sauce heavy or it drenched. I kept it light as you want the lobster to shine through. The longest part out of all of this? Grilling the buns. You want them to be buttery and slightly crispy on the edges. The lobster mixture to be warm with that dressing to augment it. One thing I will mention about making these is have everyone at the table when you make these as they take only a few minutes to make you have to eat them immediately otherwise they just aren’t awesome. They are good but for me, I am not a fan of cooled lobster and cold butter toasted buns. Trust me on this, folks will stand in line for these at your stove!

I called Mr. Fantabulous up for lunch and as he sat down he asked where the food was and what that awesome smell was. I stood there beaming as I love when he says stuff like that as it’s genuine and unsolicited. I set the plates in front of us and he asked what it as. I said “just try it, it’s my lobster roll now eat before it gets cold.” Now this was his first ever one and to see him bite into it was the verification that I hit a grand slam with this thing. I mean we’re talking the look of surprise and the ‘O-Face’ he made was PRICELESS! I mean this sandwich rendered him speechless and he actually for the first time I swear in his life chewed his food slowly. I mean you’re going to want to just to savor the awesomeness of it.

We both sat in silence eating this with an occasional “Mmmm!” coming from our mouths as we took another bite. When we were done he said “Wow honey I can see why you obsessed over that! That was amazing! I mean AMAZING!”

So dear Autumn thank you for making me crave this and obsess over it. You rock girlfriend!